Bitchtits back and with plenty to prove in 06'

Slim had easily the most disappointing season of his career... can he rebound and lead the Tigers to a .500 season?

Rodriguez was a stupid baseball player last year. He apparently decided to lose all patience at the plate and go with the Willie Mays Hayes hitting technique. Even though he lost 25 lbs. in the off-season, he decided to swing for the fences of spacious Comerica Park. First off, how the fuck do you lose 25 Lbs. in an off-season. Well, I'll you how.

Either:
A) You had a nearly-fatal disease that lasted the entire off-season
B) You stopped using steroids.

Well, B's the answer. And that is real shitty because when you are an aging catcher that’s being paid over 40 Million dollars you can't really do that kind of shit. Pudge went from Fatty mcphatness to Omar Infante's twin brother. The thing that makes baseball great, is being lardy is not a necessarily a bad thing. Not much running or physical conditioning is required. Basically, you need great coordination and Super Mario-esque reflexes to succeed in baseball.

Ivan Rodriquez is arguably the greatest catcher of all-time. Throughout his career he has provided teams with gold-glove defense, consistent .300 hitting and great leadership. Last year, he played good defense, but everything else went to shit. On more then one occasion he fought with Alan Trammell and apparently forgot all hitting fundamentals. All his stats were down. The 2005 season was his lowest batting average since 1993, his lowest RBI total since 1992 and his lowest on-base percentage since he was a 19-year-old rookie in 1991.

He had 11 fucking walks on the season! He had over 500 at-bats and he walked 11 times. He averaged one fucking walk per 47.73 plate appearances. I haven't played baseball since high-school. There’s no way in hell I could even come close to touching major league pitching. But I am confident enough to say that I think I could walk 11 fucking times in 500+ at bats. It was ridiculous watching him out there. He decided even though he lost about almost all of his muscle in the off-season, he decided to take the video game approach and swing for the fences every at bat and not ever let a count get past ball 2.

Well, even though there’s plenty of reasons not to like Slim (steroids, attitude, decreasing stats...), he's still by far our best catcher. His defense is great and possibly even better now that he lost some weight. His hitting was so ridiculously bad last year that I can't imagine it could be any worse. I mean, fucking Vance Wilson is our back-up, I kind of gag uncontrollably whenever I see him in our starting line-up. Pudge did say he was going through a divorce last year and he was mentally "out of it" by the end of the season. I mean, that’s sad and all, but your getting paid 10 million dollars to have the greatest job in the world. You need to fight through that shit and not let your personal shit get in the way with your job.

He's got a lot to prove. Not only to everyone in Detroit, but also he has to start showing something to solidify his legacy as the best catcher of all-time.