World Series Haiku

Tigers Win Pennant
Leyland Shits Solid Gold Bricks
Eat Em' Up Tigers

When North Korea was testing their nuclear weapons last week, I was furious that a potential nuclear holocaust could potentially screw up my watching of the Tigers in the first world series of my lifetime. Does this make me wrong, for sure. But this best of 7 series of baseball that starts tomorrow is more important then nuclear war. Also, I was alive during the 1984 world series but I was only 40 or so days old at the time. I'd like to think that my birth served to rally those Tigers for their pennant and post season run. So, I was in a sense, a rally baby.

As I predicted, Detroit swept Oakland to win the American League Pennant. When Slater hit that ball 650 ft. to win the ALCS I am almost certain vital internal organs spontaneously combusted. I didn't care though, if it takes a new spleen for the Tigers to play for the World Series that is an easy trade-off. I did have a bottle of champagne sprayed into my face and then poured on my head. It's true; the champagne does sting the eyes quite a bit. Also, the way to tell I am actually a full fledged dweeb is my ring tone for my cell phone is Dan Dickerson’s call of the walk-off homerun.

Nelly's St. Louis Cardinals travel to the Bank for game 1 tomorrow. These teams played each other in June, or something, and the Tigers swept. I was at I think 2 out of 3 of these games and I distinctly remember sitting in deep right field fully knowing that I was watching a preview of the upcoming World Series. I wasn't able to get tickets to the World Series, but this is ok. Starting last Monday at 10 am until this minute I've probably spent 10 hours on Ticketmaster typing in those scribbly passwords. If I ever meet the Ticketmaster in real life, I'd have no hesitation of beating him to a bloody pulp with my Detroit Tigers commemorative American League champions bat. Breathe in, breathe out. SERENITY NOW. I wish somehow to get World Series tickets you would have to register how many games you went to during the 2003 season. All of these fans who just joined in this year, that's fine, I'm happy you are here, but you have my world series ticket. It's just that simple.

Obviously, Jeff Weaver and Juan Encarnacion play an integral role on this Cardinals team. Dream Weaver is slated to start game 2 where I'm sure he will receive an incredible ovation by the Detroit faithful and Encarnacion provides protection behind Pujols. CY Young candidate Anthony Reyes starts game 1 for the Lunatics against Verlander. This is literally the most important thing ever, so, why not start Anthony Reyes in game 1.

Go Tigers.