Tigers Acquire Pedro Cerrano

When I found out the Tigers traded for Gary Sheffield I ran around the house in a frenzy. The only way I can describe it would be comparing it to the Ultimate Warrior running into the ring and annihilating Randy Savage and then doing the legendary Warrior Spaz out in the middle of the ring. In a sense, Sheffield reminds of the Ultimate Warrior. Both have been accused of steroids and both are at their absolute best when you make them angry.

The Sheffield batting stance bat wiggle has scared me shitless for the last 14 years of my life. It has also inspired little league baseball players across the nation to have absolutely horrific batting stances. This trade provides us with arguably a top 10 hitter that is universally feared to bat in the middle of our line up. In his last 3 healthy seasons he hit no worse then .290, 121 Rbi's and 34 Hr's. Wa wa wi wa! He also provides a rock in the middle of the lineup that is patient at the plate and finished in the top 10 in MVP voting in his last 3 years. His injury was completely fluky last year, and he has been cleared to be healthy going into next year. If you remember during game 4 he hit 4th in the "most feared lineup of all-time" for the Yankees.

A lot of haters have been upset with who we gave up for Sheffield. We gave up arguably our best pitching prospect not named Andrew Miller in Humberto Sanchez and also gave up two single A pitchers most notably Kevin Whelan. If you are a goober like me, you'll remember Sanchez had arm trouble last year and was unable to finish the year. Also, he is a large man and some doubt that with his chunkiness he'd ever be healthy for an entire year. He is a great talent, no doubt, but a) he's unreliable right now and b) there's a 99.5% he won't play in Detroit next year. Also, as long-time depressed Tiger fans we've really only been able to be excited about our prospects in the last decade. We over value them way too much. Unless you started being a Tigers fan last year, you have no idea how many prospects failed miserably. Everyone isn't Zumaya or Verlander.

Our lineup is getting pretty fogeyish; the time to win is now. We traded ZERO major league players and added Sheffield. His presence in the middle of the lineup should allow all of our players to see better pitches and should help us out top to bottom. With Jair Jurrgens, Tata and Miller providing depth, we will be alright.

Verlander won ROY, Leyland won coach of the year. In other news, water is still wet.

Smoke on the Walker is most likely to be an Oriole in the next couple of days, and the Tigers are rumored to be involved with many potential free agents/trades. People actually being somewhat excited to play in Detroit for the first time in my lifetime is literally setting this up to be one of the more sexy off seasons of our lifetime.

Here is your bonus for reading all of this mindless dribble. http://youtube.com/watch?v=SNEd4KH_A4s

136 days until opening day.