Tigers sweep 4 game series against AA baseball club

This picture has really nothing at all to do with anything going on at all. I just always thought it would be nice if someone would satisfy one of my boyhood dreams by having dmitri perform in a shakespearean play. Anyways, the "injury bug" has attacked the tigers recently. I’ll tell you, that fuckin' injury bug, every time man.. dmitri suffered what I can believe to be one of the few trips ever to the disabled list primarily just to get "his shit back in order" and patch things up with his 21 year old chicken head GF. Or, just to learn his lines for his performance in macbeth. who knows. Definitely not a strained quad, I can tell you that much.

In an injury that actually affects the team, Mike maroth was placed on the 15 day DL for an inflamed elbow. I was able to watch that first inning of the tigers game yesterday when maroth gave up back to back to back hr's and 6 earned runs while getting one royal out. It’s especially bad when you find out that the power hitting royals have slugged 3 Hr's in one game only one time prior to yesterday. If they match that total in the first inning, then you are pitching like bodussy. You certainly can't accuse the royals of steroids atleast. Losing Maroth is especially more devastating when the expected replacement is jason grilli. grilli is basically the only pitcher on the team who isn't putting up video game type numbers on our staff. I'd prefer Colon to take over the 5th spot, when the day comes when I am manager of the Tigers, I will be able to make those decisions.

The Tigers are 33-14....let that sink in for a minute. With the pistons in the eastern conference finals and the tigers 19 games over .500 in may, I think I must be going to hell. I definitely made a deal with the devil. Totally worth it though, I'll take meaningful baseball over an eternity of damnation without hesitation anytime. The fact the pistons are playing the heat...makes this apparent deal with the devil all the more evident. Honestly, I don't think there is a team I've ever hated more then this heat team. Cakes Walker, Dwayne "I'm going to fall on my ass and get an ass-bruise and act like I just shattered my leg" Wade, ason williams (no J), Alonzo "i almost died of kidney failure, but by the grace of god the raptors signed me and took a chance on me when no team would...but I'm still demanding a trade from those canucks" Mourning, etc. And who can forget the Shaq/ben wallace rap feud after the lakers series? Yeah, that was classic. Shaq laying down dope rhymes that I'd say were comparable to his acting in "Steel" and ben wallace making guest appearances on Skillz' song. Wow, that was some classic stuff there. Especially Riley. yeah, like van gundy really wanted to stop coaching one of the best teams in basketball a handful of games into the season to "spend time with his family." If i were his family...fuck! make that money, man. Nobody needs a stay at home dad when you could be out making millions.

Anyways, I'll probably be sacrificing game 3 of the heat series to go to the tigers/indians game on saturday night. If your there, I won't be hard to find. I'll be the guy enjoying my "diluted" pepsi a little bit too much in right field. I’ll probably also be there Sunday, and 2 of the 4 yankee games and atleast one or two of the bosox series. Should be pretty wild.

go tigers.

you know what first place feels like?... it feels like...like a bag of sand

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy...?

Sparky Anderson said that a baseball team truly can not be judged until the 40 game mark. Well, George is surely doing back flips after the Tigers pulled into the 40 game mark with a COMMANDING one game lead over the black sox and the best record in the MLB.

A lot has happened since my last update. It’s kind of difficult to stay current when you do not have a job and you have to sleep in until 1 pm everyday. Well, the tigers have currently won 7 straight, da-meathook da-beat his da-bitch up, and Zumaya a Marlin? say Whaaaaat?!

Sadly, oft injured DH DY decided that his 21 year old college boo was getting fresh with the meatstick. Did Dmitri Young haveta' choke a bitch?! Apparently, he did, and he's turning himself into the police on monday. Hitting a paltry .192 with 0 HR's thus far and now a domestic violence arrest this might be enough to signal an end to DY's career in Deetwah. No home runs for dmitri this year, instead its been more like hoe, run! after he polishes off a case of zimas. I've always tried to like Young, this first started off when my sister reported to me that he "tips incredibly well" at my uncles bar 5th avenue in Comerica Park. I even did get a kick out him attempting to field a baseball in the field, even if his fielding skills are comparable to a mentally challenged 7th grader. Also, his at-bat music of the ying-yang twins was a family delight! He chose "wait (the whisper song)" who's chorus consists of "Ay bitch! wait til you see my dick, Imma beat dat pussy up." if my face wasn't already botoxed to death, then a steady flow of tears would flow down my face.

Through some fortunate Pedro Cerrano voodoo curse, the Tigers currently have without a doubt the best pitching staff in baseball. Honestly, I can't explain this. We have an old man with anger issues, 2 pitchers who lost a combined 40 games a couple years ago, an underachieving lefty and a green rook. How this somehow equals a team ERA of 3.13 almost 1 full run over the 2nd best team in the AL is simply enough to almost have me suffer a brain aneurysm. We have given up 20 runs less then the 2nd best team in baseball. When I saw this stat, I was momentarily paralyzed from the waist down. And Jay-Z (zumaya) is one of the most dominating relievers in all of baseball.

Recent rumors have said that the marlins might be interested in trading dontrelle willis for zumaya. Honestly, this has given me an intense headache the last 36 hours. Zumaya looks as if he might be a lights-out closer for the next 10 years, while willis is already a cy young caliber lefty who's only 24, but who has a delivery who might make him susceptible to an arm injury. I imagine we'd also have to give up another mid-range prospect probably like a jordan tata or something. I think I developed an ulcer trying to analyze this trade. It really is way to tough to think about, and I hope it just goes away before I develop some other dehabilitating illness as a result of this.

Also, when you suckers were watching the pistons fart away our playoff chances in game 5, I was mostly watching Verlander vs. Santana. Honestly, this was probably one of the best games I've seen in years. Two pitchers who were just dominant until... hell froze over and monkeys flew out of wayne campbell's ass. Vance Wilson hit a 2-run HR in the bottom of the 8th inning leading us to a 2-0 victory. I was a witness alright, Vance Wilson won a game for us.

Tigers play the Reds in interleague baseball this weekend. I'll probably be thurr saturday night, and possibly sunday depending on if the Pistons want to do the equivalent of slapping an elderly woman in the face and beating up a group of kittens and lose in the 2nd round to the Cavaliers. I'm a high roller... I drive a Cavalier. If the pistons lose to the Cavaliers I think I am going to egg the fuck out of my car and beat it senseless with my bloody fists. I Guaransheed this.

The worst thing in the history of sport

No, not steroids, but Craig Monroe taking a pitch right below the belt (PUN INTENDED). I remember watching this game last year and literally being uncomfortable for the next couple of days. Monroe was quoted later on saying that he "doesn't wear a cup because he plays in the outfield." Wow. How he wasn't on the disabled list for the rest of the season is simply the most remarkable achievement in toughness in sports history. yes, Willis Reed and Mateen Cleaves showed incredible toughness coming back and guiding their teams to championships and Kirk Gibson showed incredible grit to overcome basically two worthless legs to hit the game winning Hr against Eckersley...but, they weren't hit by a baseball traveling at an incredible speed in the crotcial region. You really think Gibson would've been able to hit Eckersley after taking one in the groin? hell no, strike 3! That is why Craig Monroe will forever go down in Tigers lore as one of the toughest SOB's in the history of sports.

This really has no relation to how the Tigers season has gone so far. Currently, we are 22-13 and are taking our nerf Crotch bats (snl reference) to the rest of the american league. The Black Sox are still 1.5 games up, with a measly 117 games to play. In my obviously unbiased opinion, we are a virtual lock for the AL central title.

Also, Zumaya hitting Chris Gomez with a 100 mph fast ball in the hand produced about the most grotesque sound I've ever heard. Gomez, as you remember was a Tiger legend playing for us the glory days in the early to mid 90's. Incredibly, he still stayed in the game even though it was obvious from just listening to it that his hand was mangled and broken. He's on the disabled list for a couple of months.

Right now, I'm planning on going to the entire Twins series tue-thurs at copa. Don't be a stranger; buy your #1 source for Detroit Tigers info a $8.50 beer if you happen to be there also.