Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Damn Fine Work

I received an email that the editors of some website reviewed “That’s All We Got? One Goddamn Hit?” and overall they gave it a 6.0 out of 10. Initially I was upset, I really strived to make this place a 6.5 blog. When they asked if I wanted to display a badge proclaiming this place a 6 out 10, I couldn’t update this place quick enough. The mental image I have of people sitting around a table debating the pros and cons of this place is incredible. 

Editor #1: That’s the 15th Mighty Ducks 2 reference in the last 2 years! Negative points!

Editor #2: His haiku’s are like a serene river flowing straight into my brain! Plus points!

Editor #3: ¿Dónde Está la Biblioteca?

Editor #4: This place emits an aura complacency. If this blog were a dinosaur, it would be a brontosaurus.

Be happy readers, you are reading the Gene Kingsale of Detroit Tiger blogs.

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Fundamentals Of This Baseball Team Are Strong

Wayne State is on break this week, so Spring Break 2009 Detroit is really in full effect right now. I cranked things up this afternoon by watching some Tigers baseball. Tigers eeked one out against the Cardinals, 7-6. This officially makes everything square from 2006. The winning run came when Will Rhymes dropped an ill single scoring the winning run in the bottom of the 9th. We currently are a mere 5.5 games back for the Grapefruit League crown. I’m pretty sure the winning team splits a gift certificate from Dunhams or something, so let’s get on that.

Unfortunately for the Tigers the rumors of pitching machines replacing pitchers looks to be false. Dontrelle Willis, Zach Miner and Nate Robertson are waging an epic suckfest for the 5th rotation spot. All tied up, right now. Bonderman has been broken all spring, but looks like he might be ready for the season. Zumaya is hurt again, proving that he might be the most fragile 260# human being of all-time. Rick Porcello and Rick Perry might start with the club with all the sucking going on.

Detroit really can’t brag about the free agents they brought in this off-season. All of the players serve a purpose, but they aren’t flashy. It’s kind of like buying a belt. If you go brag to all your friends about your belt, they’ll think you are a douche, and rightfully so. But, your pants will stay up. This opinion is probably just because I’ve been bathing in the Tigers Kool-Aid all winter, but I feel Adam Everett>Edgar Diarrhea, Gerald Laird>Fudge and Lyon>Jones.

The World Baseball Classic confuses me so much that it almost makes me angry. My jingoistic tendencies make me want to fight a Canadian when I watch Matt Stairs battle with Latroy Hawkins. But, deep down I’d almost rather both Team USA (Granderson) and Team Detroit (Venezuela) take a dive, so we have our full force of players in spring training, learning how to do stuff, and treating Brandon Inge nicely so he is happy. Also, it would be neat if Carlos Guillen could take some fly balls, so he isn’t completely shocked the first time he doesn’t get a ground ball in left field.

Magglio, when he is in right field looks to be about 15% there. My seats are a couple rows up in right field and people are constantly yelling his name. Instead of ignoring them, like every other MLB player, he decides to stare back at them with a blank expression on his face until the situation is just completely awkward and uncomfortable for everyone. It’s bizarre to say the least. Usually you wouldn’t think this mute would be the center of controversy, but he is. Maggio recently said something along the lines of “the best of the Venezuelan Revolution is yet to come” with Hugo Chavez. I’m watching Venezuela play Puerto Rico right now and Magglio is getting booed without mercy the entire game by Venezuelan fans.

21 days until opening day.