Friday, June 09, 2006

Dr. Destroyer a Tiger!

On the 6th day, of the 6th month of the year 2006 the Tigers select with their 6th pick a 6'6 Andrew Miller, a lefty hurler from North Carolina. Obviously you might think I might have some hang-ups about drafting the obvious ruler of the dark world to anchor our pitching rotation in the future. Not this time though, the Tigers drafted by basically everyone’s opinion the consensus #1 overall player in the draft at #6. He slipped to us because everyone thought he would be hard to sign, which might be true, but I have faith that Dombrowski will sacrifice 20 virgins to please Miller. Another thing you like is when players make up nicknames for themselves. Miller, obviously a smart guy, came up with the genius nickname "Dr. Destroyer." Even though Miller is leaving after his jr.'s always nice to see that he was able to get his doctorate before he graduated.

The Tigers just completed two series against teams that are named after socks. I guess in the early 1900's creativity was at an all-time low and the creators of these names just looked in their closets and blammmo! white and red sox it is. Anyways, both of these series went poorly. The Tigers should have won both series if it wasn't for Todd Jones remembering he's todd jones and giving up a 2 out bottom of the 9th HR to lose and Rodney reverting back to his pre tommy-john surgery days and serving up a pelvis-shattering 3-run HR to new HGH candidate Alex cintron. The Tigers now head to Toronto for a series with the B'jays. Hopefully if they have enough time they'll visit the hockey hall of fame.

US Cellular field I think just climbed in my top 3 in my list of the mostest stupiderest ballparks in baseball. Every single flyball felt like it was going to be gone. 11 Hr's were hit in 3 games. This is even more stupid when all the games were relatively low scoring games. I mean, cintron and polanco each hit Hr's this series. That's stupid. Homeruns should be difficult, thats why I have really grown to like the dimensions of Comerica Park a lot recently. There is not a more exciting play in baseball then a triple. Recently I did a Hr. Derby with two of my BFF's. A total of 3 Hr's were hit between us...I hit 0 of them. Even though this made me cry for the first time in 12 years, this was right. I have no business hitting homeruns after 0 practice in the last 3 years. Instead I was fouling off 45 mph gas or hitting a lazy fly ball into LF. Luckily, I bought some steroids and the next time you see me my head will be the equivalent of a bobble-head and the rest of my body will look like a person who was allergic to bee's who got stung by an entire nest. Who cares about testicles when you have pec's like mine?

"These fans here in Chicago are a black eye, cussing when there are kids around. I mean it's just bad for baseball." - jamie walker

Whats with these fans in chicago? I mean what the fuck is wrong with these shithead southsiders and their foul langauge? They should all be bitchslapped and their kids should be tought some fucking manners. Go eat a shit sandwich you assholes, you pale hosers.

1 comment:

Brady Green said...

a couple of things I forgot to add...

Andrew Miller is pitching TONIGHT (friday) on espn for UNC

and dy is at the betty ford clinic because he is fat and an alcoholic.