"Attention Steinbrenner and front-office morons! Your triumphs mean nothing. You all stink. You can sit on it, and rotate! This is George Costanza. I fear no reprisal. Extension five-one-seven-oh."
The Tigers play
Wendy O. Koopa is Derek Jeter. Game 2 was cancelled solely based on the purpose that the rain would have made Jeter's mascara run. Jason Giambi is Iggy Koopa. This wacked out roid rager was benched for game 4. Bobby Abreu is Ludwig Von Koopa. C'mon, they look exactly alike. A-rod is Roy Koopa. As you can tell, this Koopa has style, but he is just an average crumb-bum that mario easily conquers. Morton Koopa Jr is
I'm pretty sure the main reason we won this series is Johnny Damon. This fuckwad and his curtain call in the 4th inning of game 2 literally pissed god off so much that he gave joel zumaya super powers to humiliate "the greatest line-up of all-time." If I hear that one more time I'll puke up a lung, I swear. Rogers and Bonderman then obviously gave up a combined 2 runs in 2 games against a lineup with all all-stars. I bought my tickets to game 3 a long time ago and was able to attend game 4 due to the generosity of my reader of the week, Danny Wilson.
Also, the celebration after game 4 was the coolest thing I think I've ever seen and totally necessary.
Anyways, on to the ALCS foe
“Stomper is the mascot of the Oakland Athletics, a Major League Baseball club. It is an elephant wearing A’s jersey of the number 00. The baseball season is long and Stomper prepares himself to stay fit. As he is the only elephant in the weight room and the only pampered sweet creature, he teases the players with his cute remarks. Before each game, he rides around the field in a little red car “Boogie Buggy” while a song from The Jungle Book movie soundtrack is played.”
I cry thinking about the imbecile who wrote this. Mascot’s generally don’t mean anything, but this is…just…terrible. Stomper actually does make Sir Slam A lot (old pistons mascot) look like royalty. If I ever run into Stomper, I’ll spit at him. He disgusts me.
Tigers in 4. Go Tigers.