Thursday, October 09, 2008

Change I Can Believe In: 2009 Detroit Tigers

The 2008 Detroit Tigers finished in fifth best place in the American League Central Division, receiving the brown ribbon of sorrow for their effort. The Detroit Tigers were like Crystal Clear Pepsi. When it came down to it, this team had no pop, no fizz, no great taste. I think I'm actually convinced the 2008 Detroit Tigers made me dumber.

SEASON STARTS IN 6 MONTHS. CHANGE.

SS/3B

Brandon Inge will be the 3rd basemen again. Management, apparently impressed with Inge’s .205 avg. and 11 shitbombs will move Guillen to LF. Apparently, Tigers management is willing to overlook this as long as Inge continues to wear his socks high. 

The only way I can justify Inge being on the field is if he our SS. With Renteria likely to be cut loose, even though he did just predict a 2009 WS title here, this leaves us with our biggest hole in our most important defensive position.

Catcher and SS, two positions where I am willing to allow you to hit your weight without me getting hysterical about it. Inge has great range, a great arm, played SS in college, and he also has high socks. At SS, he would have more opportunities for plays and his plus defense would allow more opportunities justifying his existence as a professional athlete.  Keep Guillen at 3rd, he was good there.

C

Dusty Ryan. Sure, He’ll hit .225, but, that’s about .150 better then I’d imagine Dane Sardinha would hit if he was there every day. I think Vance Wilson might be deceased, so, he’s not a viable option 

LF

Jim Leyland loves Marcus Thames. He says that every year, and he rewards his love for him by not playing him. Next year, I hope he’ll platoon with Matt Joyce.

 DH

Gary Sheffield was the cherry on top of this turd cake of a year. He decided he’d bitch about everything, suck at hitting, get paid a lot, and by all accounts just be a douche. BUT, he is swearing revenge on Carmona. Gary is good when mad. So, feel free to boo him and hit him with pitches, it’s for the good of the team. Also, we aren’t going to pay a guy with 499 HR’s to go away, so we are stuck with him. And he might literally murder one of our rivals best young pitchers. I support that.

My batting order

  1. Granderson CF
  2. Ordonez RF
  3. Cabrera 1B
  4. Polanco 2B
  5. Guillen 3B
  6. Sheffield DH
  7. Thames/Joyce LF
  8. Ryan C
  9. Inge SS

I’ll talk more about this later.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

this team needs to sign jake taylor at catcher.