Monday, January 15, 2007

Deep Thoughts

A legendary Tiger from the glory years of my youth

I've been sitting in my 56 degree cubicle of a room repeatedly watching while slowly rocking back and forth as i progressively slip deeper into lunacy. Even though the Tigers made the World Series, I still am not close to grasping that this actually happened. All of my Tigers memories usually involve guys like C.J. Nitkowski or other stand outs like Kimera Bartee or the Luis Pujols era.

I remember as a kid I went to Cooperstown. I went to the Cooperstown bat manufacturing company. I had an authentic wooden bat made. I kept it in a case and vowed only to let legendary Tigers sign it. At first, I did an admirable job. I think I got Allan Trammell, Mickey Lolich and Kirk Gibson's autographs on it. I was very proud of this bat. That is until that fateful Tigerfest in 1995. Even though I was only 11, I must have been huffing some glue that day or something. Right on the barrel of the bat I got two autographs that day. One was lifetime .260 hitter Chris Gomez and the other was John Doherty who came through with a 5-9 record with a miniscule 5.10 ERA that year. I'm pretty sure I was with my dad at that fateful Tigerfest that took place in Joe Louis Arena. To this day, I hold a little bit of grudge against him for not beating me that day.

This is a happier memory. I'm in 3rd grade, and I'm in latchkey. It's the 2nd game of the season and the Tigers are taking on the Baltimore Orioles. About 20 of us are sitting in centerfield bleachers enjoying this game with about 8,000 other Tiger fans that were scattered throughout Tiger stadium. There was one other group of people in the CF bleachers that day. Luckily for us, they were a group of college students who had probably had one or two too many wine coolers that day. I realize what I'm about to say doesn't sound believable, but I swear it's all true. About halfway through this game it started raining. There was love in the air in this smoggy day in Detroit. These girls treated us to a striptease in the CF bleachers. These were the first bewbs that I will have seen in my life. I know probably that like 3 out of my 5 readers are calling BS on this. The reason the other two aren't, is because they can probably back me up on this. Also, the Tigers won this game in the bottom of the 9th inning. With 1 out and a runner on 3rd they attempted to intentionally walk the batter to set up the DP. The Orioles doofus pitcher threw a wild pitch on an intentional ball allowing the winning run to score. Easily the best day of latchkey in my life. Yes, even better then the day chocolate cake was snack.

Nothing of any importance has happened with the Tigers since the Tigers shook the baseball world to its core with the Mesa signing. I’m seriously debating if hibernation is a feasible option, it’s become that bad.

77 days until opening day.


Anonymous said...

I have seen at least 5 boobs (2 and a half sets) in my Comerica Park career. At least 2 in the old Tiger Stadium, and I'm 21.

What can I say, chicks dig the Tigs . . .

Brady Green said...

Remember, Cecil Fielder doesn't count, but that's still a gaudy number. It sounds like I need to start hanging out at the pepsi party porch.

Anonymous said...

Nay brother . . . 3 in Kaline Corner and 2 in the Left field bleachers.

Looking at your story again, the way the Orioles blew that game reminds me of the time I was at the game when Mo Vaughn made 2-3 errors on the same play in bottom of the ninth to single-handedly lose the game for the Red Sox at the old Tiger Stadium.