Friday, August 07, 2009

Josh Anderson Sold Into Indentured Servanthood

"Detroit Tigers platoon outfielder Magglio Ordonez meets with a Hugo fan"

Hey sports fans. The good lord has blessed our local ballclub enough to be in a pennant chase this summer. I don't know about you, but I haven't anticipated something so much since the season finale of America's Best Dance Crew. To the surprise of everyone, except Rod Allen, the Tigers are leading the Central by 3 games.

Playoff baseball is a big deal. If the Final 4 and Stanley Cup taught us anything, it is that a local sports teams success literally solves all of the problems Detroit faces. It's true because people have repeated it enough. Since everything was last solved in april and june, things have gone in the crapper once again. Detroit's shaky future literally rests on the tilted brim of Fernando Rodney.

Since my last update, Josh Anderson was sold into indentured servanthood. He was sold for cash. I don't know how these cash for person trades play out, but in my mind I imagine Dombrowski walking into an abandoned warehouse with a leash around Anderson's neck to meet KC's GM who has a suitcase of $. Luckily for us Josh Anderson has twitter and has kept his many fans updated of his status.

OshKosh B'Josh#13: Traded for cash today. LoL! How can they put a $ amount on the price of a human being! Thank G-D I'm fast!
OshKosh B'Josh#13: Uh oh! KC figured out I'm not good at baseball. They r threatening to put me to work in a tobacco plantation! If only it was a tomacco plantation! Lol!Thank g-d I'm fast!
OshKosh B'Josh#13: Kansas City is run by some Royal dicks! If they ever knew I wrote that, they'd beat me! Anyone watching shark week? Thank g-d i'm fast!
OshKosh B'Josh#13: Seriously, you haven't seen the tomacco simpsons episode? You guys suck. almost as much as the guys who keep on trying to beat me! Thank g-d i'm fast!
OshKosh B'Josh#13: My will to live has been broken :(!These guys with the whips are some serious asshats!

Baseball can be a dirty game.

Is it just me, or does Justin Verlander look like the doppleganger of Luigi from mario bros? What's that? Oh, just me? Then carry on.

With a USA victory this year, we will increase our record in the World Series to 105-2.

1 comment:

Eric said...

dude....how did I miss this one.... ..I am eagerly awaiting the next entry...Where do I sign up to get Mobile alerts?