Monday, January 09, 2006

The gambler and who?? Todd Jones





Pitching was the main reason the Tigers shat the bed in 2005, so the Tigers addressed this in the only way they know how. Signing two "fogies" to provide some much needed relief in the bullpen and one lefty to anchor the rotation.


TIGERS SIGN KENNY ROGERS! OMG!


Only the Tigers can add a 43 year-old pitcher who might be psychotic, and be content that this will solve their pitching troubles. As everyone knows, Rogers is an accomplished singer/chicken maker, but in 2005 he was able to add accomplished felon to his sterling record when he assaulted a camera man. In the picture I included, it looks like the camera man is severely overreacting to Rogers. Rogers simply looks like he just wanted "high-five," and that bastard of a camera man decided to leave him "hanging," so Rogers decided to pummel him. Fair enough.

Rogers acting like a slightly psychotic grumpy old man was of benefit for the Tigers. This made us basically the only team in the running to sign Rogers. Of course, the Tigers were basically bidding against themselves for the services of this "crafty" lefty, and like always, grossly overpaid. Most expected Rogers to sign a one year deal worth anywhere from 5-6 million, but the Tigers felt generous and signed him to a 2-year 16 million dollar deal.

Alright, theres plenty to not like about this signing. The money, the length, 43 years old and he might just possibly be mentally ill. But I'm going to tell you why this signing makes sense. Even though he's a fossil, he still had one of his best years of his career last year. He had a 3.46 ERA and was selected to the all-star game. And he pitched in a heavy hitters friendly park last year. He's a lefty also, which automatically makes him slightly more valuable then a righty. Plus, if I learned anything from "wild thing" Rick Vaughn, its that intimidation is half the battle in pitching. I mean, who wouldn't be intimidated by a grizzly old man who at any time can dot you in the ribs with a screaming 86 mph fastball.

Rogers can still be considered a top of the rotation type of pitcher. This will take some pressure off of Bonderman and let him settle in the #2 hole for next year. With a young pitching staff, an old man might be exactly what this team needs. I'd also easily take Rogers over Johnson, so I feel we slightly improved in that aspect. Also, there's no salary cap in baseball, so I'm not going to lose that much sleep by a overpaying for Rogers.

TIGERS SIGN 2000 AL ROLAIDS RELIEF MAN OF THE YEAR

I don’t think any true Tigers fan can truly say anything bad about Todd Jones, so I won’t. But I just have a bad feeling about this signing. Jones was one of the most effective relievers in the NL last year posting a colon-exploding 2.10 Era in Florida last year. What concerns me is that he largely struggled since being honored by Rolaids, and last year might be not be any way to truly predict how he will pitch next year.

Right now, Jones is our Closer. Which is definitely a step-up from Rodney/Franklynstein. But he’s 38, and is not particularly overpowering. If he can have any type of year similar to last year, that would go a long way to helping us be somewhat competitive in the al central.

I’ll basically just be satisfied if he comes in, slams the bullpen door, and loads the bases up and miraculously gets out of it like before. Even when he had 42 saves in 2000, nothing came easy.

I included a picture of Jones Jonesin for some beer. I can only assume after he finished his 2 Budweisers and solo Coors that he immediately Macked on those Hunnies in the background.

2 comments:

Ted Danson said...

Jones needs to add more beer and less vegetables to his diet. whilst ricky vaughn and his skull and crossbones glasses were intimidating, boomer wells has proved that there is nothing more intimidating than a dreadfully obese pitcher.
im your biggest fan baby geez but not when TTU takes on KSU this year... or when we're playing chess in the future.

Brady Green said...

you raise a good point about David Wells. He claims to have pitched his perfect game drunk, and there really is nothing more intimidating then a drunk obese man nicknamed "Boomer" throwing baseballs.