Sadly, the catcher in this picture was literally ripped in half seconds after this picture was taken. The unbelievable impact caused his upper body to land a good 5 rows up in the crowd and registered a 6.3 on the Richter scale. His lower body literally evaporated. Don't ask me to explain how a lower body can evaporate, just know that the impact between meathook and #17 was comparable to 5 nuclear bombs going off inside #17's chest. Dmitri then picked up the severed head, autographed its forehead, and gave it to a youngster who will cherish this severed skull for eternity. Don't expect that priceless gem to end up on EBAY.
Unfortunately though, Dmitri hurt his leg in intense early march Spring training baseball action. Hopefully, he doesn't wang-tang around and he's ready to go opening day.
The Tigers are a respectable 5-2 right now. This is good for being 1 game back for the best record in baseball right now. The Butt-pirates have the best record right now and are 6-1, with their only "L" coming to los Tigres.
Alright, well my SPF 45 is packed and I'm off to beautiful Indianapolis for some big-ten basketball action. Take it easy, you sarcastic jokester freakazoids.