35 over .500. Not too shabby, Pahdnuh

Last Tuesday night wasn't a good night. I was robbed at gunpoint while driving in the mean streets of Huntington Woods and had a gun put to my head while my cell phone and wallet were stolen. Eric, who was serving as my Rod Allen for the night also had his wallet stolen and was punched repeatedly in the face. To quote Rod, "They were beatin' on him like he stole something!" Except, obviously he was getting punched and robbed, so I guess that doesn't really fit. Obviously, feeling like you were about to get shot in the back of the head is a lousy feeling, but it's nothing compared to the feeling of losing to Cleveland. The Tigers won the finale, thus taking the series, and all was well again.

Being the first victim of an armed robbery in Huntington Wood's in multiple years is kind of an odd feeling. I mean, being that it was me, that’s a hell of a way to end the slump. Basically, I’m about as surprised that I almost got shot on Dundee as when Alexis Gomez gets a base hit. I found out that since my wallet was taken the two perp's used my credit card 6 times in a matter of an hour or so. What makes this even worse is the fact that they bought gas 6 fucking times, nothing else, just fucking gas. So now I have to live with the fact that my credit card's last dying action went to supporting terrorist regimes. That's a hell of a thing to have on your conscience.

Welp, the Tigers end their road trip by visiting the two ugliest stadiums in the over 100 year history of professional baseball. Obviously, I'm talking about the Metrodome, and Tropicana field. The Twins are now tied with the White Sox. So hopefully we can bash around the Twins and the ghost of Kent Hrbek. True, Hrbek’s not dead, but that man ruined many nights for me when I was wee lad. Luckily we get to face Liriano and Santana in this series, so it's basically safe to assume a sweep is merely a formality in this series.

Here is carlos guillen's walk off HR against the KC.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk-Ri48dtik&search=detroit%20tigers

The drunk who is filming this from what looks like the Tiger den does a good job of setting the scene. Unfortunately this just stirs up fond memories from my stolen cell phone. No joke, my ring tone was Mario Impemba. It was quite honestly very pathetic. But I loved hearing Impemba's golden vocal chords scream repeatedly "ANOTHER WALK-OFF HOMERUN FOR THE TIGERS!" over and over again. Usually, I'd just let it go straight to voicemail and enjoy it in its entirety.

Here’s a friendly reminder, if you really want a Chalupa from Taco Bell and your in Huntington Wood’s… just remember to weigh the pros and cons. For example, the cheesy/meaty goodness of the Chalupa vs. the possibility of getting shot in the face. Personally, I’d still go with the Chalupa.

Tiger Style

The Tigers extended their lead for overall best record in baseball to 5.5 games. I was at the first and 3rd games of the white sox series. The first game was pretty much the equivalent to being on the recieving end of a kyle farnsworth body slam. The second game was much better. I almost shattered both my fists punching whatever was near me (wall, chair, cat, etc.) after monroe's grandslam. It even almost resulted in a fight with pierzynski. it was terrific, and for your audio pleasure here is dan dickerson spazzing out after the grandslam. Then jim price massages your ear lobes with his unparalleled baseball analysis. Yeah, that last sentence was extremely sarcastic.

http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~ebajek/MonroeGS.wav

The third game was probably the most exciting baseball game I've ever been to. Even though in my life I've probably been to well over 250 tiger games in person...that really isn't saying much. I mean, I think approximately i've seen the tigers play the royals 100 times in mid august when the teams are a combined 75 games under .500. Anyways, the play of the day was marcus thames taking out iguchi at second base. when this happened, I literally swore 15 times in 5 seconds and sincerely hoped that both his shoulders were dislocated and that he landed on his head hard enough that his brain would leak out of his ear. I'm pretty sure that makes me a terrible person, oh well. Tigers won 2-1 after shelton doubled in monroe following the take out slide.

dmitri young is back, literally. He's been called up. I'm not sure who's going to be sent down, but my best guess would be santiago sent down. Obviously, meathook has been pretty terrible for the tigers since after opening day last year. But, if he's not drunk, and not focused on hoe-smackin, he would be exactly what the tigers need. A switch hitting, somewhat power-hitting DH/1b would be perfect for us. Since shelton's deal with the devil apparently ended, he's been about the most replaceable player in the lineup. He'd still be our starter at 1b, but it would be nice to have some flexibility. If young could hit anywhere near his lifetime #'s (.291 avg., 21 Hr's, .348 obp), we would be so much better. Apparently he'll be batting 7th tonight and playing DH.

The Tigers are still rumored to be getting everyone. Along with the recent abreu/soriano rumors, i've heard shawn green, tom gordan, alex rodriguez, shea hillenbrand, smoltz (again), david Dellucci... So, really nothing has changed. Humberto sanchez has basically been involved in every trade rumor. I'd trade him if the price was right. His value is at it's highest following the futures game. It is literally almost impossible to assume that he'll be a great pitcher in the bigs, and we have lots of pitching depth in the minors and basically zero hitting depth. Plus, if we sign the good doctor, dr. destroyer (andrew miller) we'll be in even better shape. No way in hell I'd trade maybin. Honestly, the only players I'd trade him for right now are like albert pujols, or like miguel cabrera...every other player I'd have to think over. It's rumored the nationals asked for sanchez, Jurrjens (another high pitching prospect) AND maybin for soriano. I will stick forks in my eyeballs if this actually happens.

The tigers play the a's this weekend. obviously the park is sold out all 3 games. The Tigers bandwagon has increased by approximately 80 gazillion in the last month. Considering there were only like 10 diehard fans prior to this season, this is quite the change. In the last few weeks I've had atleast 5 girls who couldn't name the color of a baseball (FYI, white, with red stitches) debate with me who the tigers should be pitching/lineup decisions. Usually its something like, "why isn't Verlander pitching? he's so hottttt." My response usually is something like, "he pitched last night, he would injure his arm and be useless the rest of his career." "well, I don't care, he should be pitching, he is sooooooo hot." I then try to immediately change the subject and debate something more meaningful such as who's more musically talented, lindsey lohan or hillary duff. obviously, lindsey.

I apologize in advance if that last paragraph caused mental retardation in any of my readers.

eat em' up tigers.

2nd half haiku

tigers in first place
royals bow down to detroit
all hail leyland now

once again, this picture is strictly for my female readers. It's a legit todd jones bowman rookie card. If i could, I'd get this blown up and post this bia' on my door at my house next year. As cube said, you betta check yo self ‘for you wreck yo self. I think a giant todd jones picture completely illustrates this ice cube lyric. I'm thinking I should start wearing gold chains and and have a neatly manicured 'stache. That might work better then my normal pick-up lines which are rather lackluster..."hey sweetheart, let's get out of here and check out my detroit tigers blog," or, "do you play catcher? because you can catch my screwball....anyday," or "is that the new pussycat dolls song?! those girls are just one giant ball of talent!" See, i'm a mess....so, anyone know a good gold chain place?

last night i was at the game. there were over 32,000 people there for a weekday royals game. this is approximately 300% more people then average at a weekly royals game. our seats were "obstructed view." the foul poll was in the way. that was annoying. in the past, i'd usually use my ticket which i had purchased for under 5$ from a scalper on the street and sit in 35$ seats. Now that the bandwagon is in full force, I'm stuck behind the foul poll. stupid yellow foul poll. stupid mark teahen trying to ruin my night. alas, the tigers won 6-4. hooray! I think that boosted my season record in games I've attended to around 15-5. basically i'm running a shade better then the tigers season winning percentage. so, if any of you are superstitious, I'd definitely recommend taking me to the game.

dmitri young is about to be back from his rehab. hooray rehab! hopefully the newly svelt DY will start hurting baseballs instead of hurting college aged girls.

the tigers are rumored to be after every single baseball player who has hit over 5 hr's in a season and is a lefty. we are rumored to be offering literally everything. so its pointless to try to break any of this down. now, we are even rumored to be after righty's, most notably alfonso soriano. unfortunately, he strikes out a lot which is a big negative. but a huge positive for him is that his name is alfonso. I can't stress that enough. the only other alfonso i can think of is alfonso ribeiro AKA carlton from the fresh prince. laPhonso ellis of the nuggets doesn't count. alfonso green....I like that.

and yes, I'm aware that the tigers music video is down. I received countless complaints about that not working. wait, not countless...one total complaint. one outraged reader is enough for me though, here's a link to the song. its called "who's your tiger" by natives of the new dawn. TURN YOUR SPEAKERS UP, BECAUSE YOUR ARE ABOUT TO ROCK OUT!

http://myspace.com/nativesofthenewdawn

I think we should start a grassroots campaign right now and get this to the top of the TRL countdown. who's with me? oh, no one? ok, well, just enjoy this for what its worth then.

finally, the 2006 tigers have a theme song

the tigers are 31 games over .500...exactly where I thought they'd be. Seriously, stop hyperventilating. I'm pretty sure this is happening. You know Tiger fever has firmly gripped detroit by the go-nads when such gems such as this turn up on the internet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_l_z4tyxpM&search=detroit%20tigers

sure, it no "thong song," but this is going to be the lead track in my new mix cd titled "brady's tiger booty mix 2k8."

The Tigers have one game to go before the all-star break against the mariners. "google" tells me that a mariner is "a man who serves as a sailor." great, they sound tough. thank god, ability to navigate the high seas still has no impact on whether or not you win a baseball game.

a very important international competition takes place today. Yes, the futures game. Humberto sanchez (mudhen extraordinaire) is starting for team world. Cameron maybin is playing for team usa. "lets go shake their hanz." that made absolutely zero sense in this context of this and i'm sure probably 3% of my loyal readers caught that reference. This game will bring back fond memories from the time last year I attended the futures game in a drunken stupor and watched verlander and zumaya at comerica for the first time.

Kenny rogers is most likely going to start the all-star game on tuesday. its kind of ironic that he's starting the game as the AL's best pitcher when in my opinion he's been our 3rd or 4th best pitcher on the tigers staff.

dee-troit tigers are movin' on up, movin' on up!