Thursday, August 03, 2006

We have more wins then last year.

Whenever you share a nickname with NBA great Fred Hoiberg you know you’re destined for great things. What I like about this poster is it honestly looks like a grand total of 8 minutes went into the total production of this poster. What's crazy about this poster is that the picture actually wasn't altered at all. Sean Casey was actually struck by multiple bolts of pinkish lightning when playing during the Reds traditional pinkish hue night. Fortunately, these lightning bolts possessed him with great superpowers such as, the ability to move in a fashion eerily similar to that of Frankenstein and the ability to hit for a high on base percentage. All we had to do to get this, I guess, politically savvy 1st basemen was trade scrub double AA pitcher Brian Rogers. Pittsburgh honestly at this point in the season just doesn't give a flying fuck anymore.

I've honestly not been the mayor’s biggest supporter over the years but I still like this trade. The main thing I like about this trade is it gets Shelton out of the line-up and back in AAA hopefully sacrificing some livestock in order to please the sacred hitting gods. Although not conventional, this method has paid high dividends in the past. Seriously, the last 3 months Shelton has looked like an injured fawn at the plate who is in dire need of TLC that the Mudhens so often provide. The mayor runs on the platform of steady base hits and walks while providing a solid foundation at 1st base. He strictly opposes traditional strong power numbers for a 1st baseman, the ability to run around the bases in under 4 minutes and also he obviously hates terrorism.

Brent Clevlen recently got called up for honestly no apparent reason. When your hitting .240 in AA and struggling with your power #'s...this usually isn't the time that the team with best current record would call you up for the playoff push. This makes more sense though when you consider the fact that A)he almost made the Tigers out of spring training and B) we couldn't call Gomez back up for another 10 or so days. Thankfully, Clevlen has been very "Kalineish" this first couple of games. 2 outfield assists, a batting average around .600 and 2 Hr's over 400 feet. If he could continue his pace of hitting around .600 with one outfield assist and one HR every game he starts, this would also be beneficial.

From the "why the fuck is Todd Jones being asked about his underwear" department of the news this gem came up. When asked what he brings on road trips, Jones replied, "I don't pack any underwear," he said. "I wear it into the park, it gets washed every day and I wear it out of the park. I guess that's weird. I'm not proud of it, but I'm cutting down on space." Well, Todd, I'm not proud of that either. Honestly, if you asked me what was the most disappointing thing to happen to me in the last week, I'd honestly say hearing this about Todd Jones way worse then getting mugged. I apologize in advance if this last paragraph haunts your dreams and cripples your thoughts.

Also, apparently the two dudes that mugged me in the Wood's have been arrested. Apparently, they went after some woman with a knife and robbed her but they caught them a couple hours later. One of them had my cell phone on them still. They probably just really liked hearing my Impemba ringtone. Can't fault them for that. But it sounds like I'm going to get to do one of those high tech police line-ups. I'm actually happy whenever I think about this, because i'm almost at the point where I've convinced myself that Kramer might actually be in my line up.

The Tigers finally head home tomorrow after their exhilarating tour of the worst ballparks in mlb history. The Indians this weekend, and then the Twins. These teams are stupid, so I hope we beat them. That’s pretty much the extent of my in depth analysis for these two series.


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