Sunday, April 02, 2006

Opening Day Haiku

Tomorrow, the Tigers begin their quest for a world championship. The hated Kansas Shitty royals are the first of many victims on a summer-long slaughter fest with a baseball bat. "Fireballer" Kenny Rogers toes the mound for the Tigers against Scott Elarton. In my excitement, I composed a haiku to express how I feel.

Its opening day
Tigers slay Central Rivals
Royals first victim

Obviously, I'm a supremely talented poet... Anyways, Zack Greinke the young talented pitcher for the Royals would most likely be their opening day starter, but during spring training he left for "personal reasons." In recent interviews such gems about Greinke’s off the field issues have been revealed. Here is a quote from

"An interview with Zack Greinke brings up serious questions about that whole “intellect” thing. When asked if he could have dinner with any famous person, dead or alive, he says, “Brad Pitt.” He also punched his car when he found out Pitt and Jennifer Aniston and cried himself to sleep. Seriously."

Wow, I try to maintain some level of class on this blog and not make fun of personal issues...but wow. I am sincerely cheering for Greinke to make a comeback...completely just so I can heckle the fuck out him and make a millionaire grown man cry.

In sad news, "grizzled" veteran Todd Jones is injured and was placed on the 15 day DL. Amazingly, he’s the only Tiger regular who isn’t ready to start the season.

Unfortunately, I have 2 exams tomorrow. I’ll miss the majority of the game, but I should be back in time to watch the Tigers humiliate the Royals physically and mentally on the way to a 162-0 dream season.

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