I Got Elliot Smith on Repeat

Obviously Dombrowski is not a big believer that the world is ending in 2012. If the world ends in 2012 before our prospects we received get a chance to fully develop I will be so angry with him. Let's hope the Mayan's are wrong for the sake of the future of the Detroit Tigers.

If you do not live your life under the impression that the end is near, then this trade was somewhat bearable from a purely baseball standpoint. We received some solid pitchers and potentially someone who will replace Granderson. But, I really can’t get past why this trade was made. What really was the point? We traded two very productive, relatively young, good contracts in positions of need…for even younger, but less established players. All 4 players we received seem to have potential, but I’m a jaded old man who has followed Detroit Tiger drafts from the beginning of the internet to the current day. I remember dreaming of the day the Greisengers, Munsons, Sleeths and even the Maybins and Millers would suit up for the Tigers. Prospects are neat, but especially in baseball they are never anything you can safely rely on.

MAX SCHERZER:

Probably today has better stuff then Jackson, and a better contract. Some say his “violent” delivery has potential to make him a bullpen arm. If he ever moves to the bullpen…prepare for a scathing bradygee.blogspot post in all CAPITAL LETTERS. But I like Scherzer, a lot.

DANIEL SCHLERETH:

It’s a well known fact that all sons of offensive lineman go on to great pitching careers. He was a recent 1^st round draft pick…which really doesn’t mean all that much to me. He has already had Tommy John surgery. He’s a young lefty bullpen arm. And he has big hair. Two big plusses. Hair he is.

Also, I imagine when Dombrowski was offered Schlereth and Scherzer for Jackson his response was “schure.”

AUSTIN JACKSON:

He will probably be our starting CF next year. Unfortunately according to his minor league stats he is not even close to ready. Struck out 123 times in 504 plate appearances, which is a substantially higher K% then Granderson had in the MLB last year. Hit for basically no power, 4 HR’s last season…And will be 100% in charge of captaining the worst defensive outfield in the history of organized sport.

PHIL COKE:

Lefty Chad Durbin, hopefully. I’d be thrilled if he is that next year.

WHAT WE TRADED:

CURTIS GRANDERSON:

The most beloved sports figure in Detroit. Yes, ahead of Lidstrom. Last 3 years, averaged .277, 25 HR’s and was a plus defensive CF’er. Struck out too much, couldn’t hit lefty’s. Why Leyland batted him leadoff…I will never understand. He hit 30 HR’s last year and basically all were solo Hr’s because the Dane Sardinha’s and Inge’s of the world were setting him up. A pretty monumental waste of his talent at that position. Also, probably shit on the hearts of 8 year old baseball fans across the state of Michigan when they found out he was traded. 2 years removed from a 20-20-20-20 season.

EDWIN JACKSON:

Young, all-star, and had a couple years left on his contract. For half the season was keeping pace with Verlander. Then fell off pretty hard the 2^nd half of the season. Great stuff if he can put it all together.

CF and starting pitching are two serious holes for us. I’ll never be able to comprehend why Jackson had to go. Scherzer is a fine replacement for him, but why he was basically offered to every team as soon as the season ended made little sense. I’ve heard the saying “sell high” on Jackson so much recently. Usually when a 25 year old pitcher has his best season and makes his first all-star game…that usually means he’s getting better, not worse.

The urgency to trade Granderson is really one of the most puzzling things I can remember in Detroit sports history. It’s true he had some glaring weaknesses, but outside of Pujols who in the MLB does not? One sub par, 30 HR season is not enough for me to unequivocally call for a 28 year old player to be on the decline. We have zero MLB ready CF’ers to replace him. And, just for good measure he was easily our best LH bat in a park that favors lefty’s. We have Guillen as the sole starting lefty in the lineup right now. And there’s a 75% chance by the end of this sentence he just strained his back.

…And to the Yankees?! What a sick, sadistic world we live in where such tragedy’s like this can happen. If he excels in NY, the next decade will be borderline unlivable as a Tigers fan. This sucks, so hard.

The Tigers next year are going to field the lousiest offensive lineup outside of 2003 in my entire lifetime. I would easily take 9 .26 Cabrera’s over them. It will be ugly.

C: Laird

1B. Cabrera

2B. Sizemore

SS: Everett

3B: Inge

LF: Guillen/Raburn

CF: Jackson

RF: Maggs

DH: Guillen/Avila/Thomas/

The Tigers are not saying they are having a fire sale…but, in the last week we’ve lost starting CF, 2B, #2 pitcher, Closer, and set up man. If this has to do with $, the fact we kept a $17 million dollhair single hitter will make me bulimic. To me, it looks like Dombrowski caved to Boras. Boras called the Tigers out multiple times in the media for not playing him and we caved. If Dombrowski had any heart under his mauve colored turtlenecks he would have responded with “we aren’t playing that moonfaced, Hugo Chavez supporting, steroid drained, junior varsity level defender, GIDP waiting to happen, A.C Slater reject a million dollars for every time he fouls out on the 1^st pitch to the 1^st basemen! Good day, sir!” But that never happened.

The way this whole thing went down is likely to lead to me getting cabrera’d on a daily basis until pitchers and catchers report. This trade is Dombrowski’s future in Detroit. This trade did not have to be made. Dombrowski is gone from Detroit if this fails.

So far, I’m sure I come across as someone who curses at the clouds and hates everything Tigers right now. Let me say, in a world where I let myself believe that we needed to trade Curtis Granderson and Edwin Jackson I think we did alright. I’ll be there opening day and drinking the kool aid the Tigers feed me by the barrel full. HAVING SAID THAT, I do believe RP is the most overrated position in all of baseball. And I believe that solid defense up the middle C, SS, CF is one of the most underrated aspects of baseball. I also think we should have gotten one of Dunn, or Hughes from the Yankees. Also, if we were trading for prospects, I want prospects that would strengthen our lineup rather then pitching. Our farm system womps, but pitching wise we aren’t as weak as we are in comparison to our future line-up.

In trades, almost 100% of the time I feel that whomever received the best overall player in the trade, wins that trade. Right now, I believe Granderson at the moment was easily the best player in this trade, and will most likely have a better career then Scherzer, Ed. Jackson, A. Jackson or anyone else involved. The Diamondbacks are ridiculous. Nothing at all about this trade makes sense to me and they seem to have gotten substantially worse in my opinion. I grade them a Z.

Illitch must be thrilled. Verlander’s an alright guy, but his Ed Hardy t-shirts will make it hard for the city to embrace him like they did Granderson. Cabrera got drunk with the White Sox the night before the biggest game of the season. That will rightfully hurt him until he hits .450 next season. It’s going to be a lot like 2003 attendance wise. My past phone conversations were “I’m in section 103.” This year, it will more likely be “I am section 103.”

How I felt at 1:54 PM 12/8/09

More, Granderson goodness.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPKnNogMT_s&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdrV5iF43tQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXmaff8F7xc

Eat Em' Up Tigers

Tigers begin the biggest regular season series in mine and likely your lifetime tomorrow. Too excited to form rational thoughts. I'll let youtube do it for me.

*This is my current ringtone. So, call me, because I like hearing this.

*Proof that video 1 was based on fact

*Many forget Rihanna playing in the background during this HR.

*Pretty terrible they got rid of this

*Lions are 3-1 at games I've been at this year. Largely in part to this song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2NIQtoTJMM

*Pretty much like when we stole Adam Everett from the Twins this year.

*Gunnar Stahl/Joe Mauer, Julie "the cat" Gaffney/Bobby Seay. Yep, that's how it is. Be sure to check out the behind the scenes of "the most epic scene in movie history"

*Vote or die

*Rod looked country strong in the video. He was about to do something fierce on that pitchers brain

*A couple Of Minnesota's best and brightest even know it's true

*Dewey Cox catching a perfect game for the Tigers. Also, the best part of this movie by far is when "chappy" almost saws his hand off.

*the leg kick is pretty epic

A couple random Detroit clips

The Worst Baseball Stadium Of All-Time Is Dead

A stadium as beautiful as the giant Kent Hrbek mural that overlooks it. Let's break down why I fully supported the Twins being contracted a couple years ago.

I did some research on the HHH dome. Not much, just about as much as they did when deciding to put a baseball team in this god forsaken hell hole. I took all of these facts from Wikipedia, so you know it's accurate.

*The Metrodome was the first major sports facility to have a domed roof supported completely by air.

Do you know what it better then a domed roof completely supported by air? Air.

*Construction success of other domed stadiums, particularly the Silverdome near Detroit, paved the way for voters to approve funding for a new stadium

The Pontiac Silverdome wasn't good enough for the Detroit Lions. The Pontiac Silverdome is no longer good enough for Monster Truck Rally's. Gravedigger and a football team that has won one playoff game in the Superbowl era have outgrown the Silverdome. But, it was good enough for Minnesotan's to house 2 pro teams and a big 11 football team up until this year.

*The Metrodome cost $68 million to build—roughly $2 million under budget, a rarity for modern stadiums.

Seriously, under budget? I'd love to be a part of the meeting that probably went something like this...

"So, we are two million dollars under budget...Let me be the first person to recommend putting walls on your baseball field."

"No. Giant garbage bags it is. Final decision"

"Well, if you insist sir. But what about making the roof a different color...so players can see flyballs?"

"NO."

"How about seats in rightfield?"

"How about an even larger garbage bag, and have it half covering up pushed in bleachers."

"Can we atleast get some dirt for the infield?

"No dirt. I want the ground balls to go over infielders heads."

*Three times in the stadium's history, heavy snows have caused a small puncture in the roof and caused it to deflate

God tried showing them the folly of their ways. Minnesotan's fought God and rebuilt.

*Any ball which strikes the Dome roof, or objects hanging from it, remains in play; if it lands in foul territory it becomes a foul ball, if it lands in fair territory it becomes a fair ball. Any ball which becomes caught in the roof over fair ground is a ground rule double...The speakers, being closer to the playing surface, are hit more frequently, especially the speakers in foul ground near the infield, which are typically hit several times a season, posing an extra challenge to infielders trying to catch them.

This is why I fully supported the Minnesota Twins being contracted. They obviously didn't give a damn. They went right ahead and built the worst structure in modern sports history and stayed there for almost 3 decades. I have seen countless balls bounce over outfielders heads. Balls that would be routine fly outs become triples. Remember the plexiglass boards over the garbage bags? That made no sense. I think they only put that in because they like hockey so much. Can you think of one thing they did right with this stadium? There is not one redeeming quality about this place at all. We should have the Milwaukee Brewers and Miller Park.

Don't give me this "it's cold in Minnesota" nonsense either. Baseball is played in the summer. If it is cold, then baseball players get cold. If it rains too much, then most likely your park has a retractable roof. Can you imagine going to a Tigers game in the middle of the summer and sitting in an air conditioned dome? Sounds dumb, right? Since 1982 Twin's fans have had to put up with that...Many have probably never been to an outside baseball game.

The Tigers just played their last game ever at this abomination to the baseball gods. The Twins have 3 home games left. I hate that place, I hate that team and I hate Bret Favre.

Josh Anderson Sold Into Indentured Servanthood

"Detroit Tigers platoon outfielder Magglio Ordonez meets with a Hugo fan"

Hey sports fans. The good lord has blessed our local ballclub enough to be in a pennant chase this summer. I don't know about you, but I haven't anticipated something so much since the season finale of America's Best Dance Crew. To the surprise of everyone, except Rod Allen, the Tigers are leading the Central by 3 games.

Playoff baseball is a big deal. If the Final 4 and Stanley Cup taught us anything, it is that a local sports teams success literally solves all of the problems Detroit faces. It's true because people have repeated it enough. Since everything was last solved in april and june, things have gone in the crapper once again. Detroit's shaky future literally rests on the tilted brim of Fernando Rodney.

Since my last update, Josh Anderson was sold into indentured servanthood. He was sold for cash. I don't know how these cash for person trades play out, but in my mind I imagine Dombrowski walking into an abandoned warehouse with a leash around Anderson's neck to meet KC's GM who has a suitcase of $. Luckily for us Josh Anderson has twitter and has kept his many fans updated of his status.

OshKosh B'Josh#13: Traded for cash today. LoL! How can they put a $ amount on the price of a human being! Thank G-D I'm fast!

OshKosh B'Josh#13: Uh oh! KC figured out I'm not good at baseball. They r threatening to put me to work in a tobacco plantation! If only it was a tomacco plantation! Lol!Thank g-d I'm fast!

OshKosh B'Josh#13: Kansas City is run by some Royal dicks! If they ever knew I wrote that, they'd beat me! Anyone watching shark week? Thank g-d i'm fast!

OshKosh B'Josh#13: Seriously, you haven't seen the tomacco simpsons episode? You guys suck. almost as much as the guys who keep on trying to beat me! Thank g-d i'm fast!

OshKosh B'Josh#13: My will to live has been broken :(!These guys with the whips are some serious asshats!

Baseball can be a dirty game.

Is it just me, or does Justin Verlander look like the doppleganger of Luigi from mario bros? What's that? Oh, just me? Then carry on.

With a USA victory this year, we will increase our record in the World Series to 105-2.

5/18, Obscure Ex-Tiger of the day

Cameron Maybin

Scouts routinely called Maybin a Griffey Junior clone but with a better arm. So, I think we all felt it was reasonably safe to assume that Maybin would rack up 600+ Hr’s, win MVP’s, headline multiple kick ass video games and eventually cure swine flu. For this, I anointed him “megajesus.” This might seem somewhat offensive, but it would not be if you had read multiple Baseball America pre-draft scouting reports. 

Maybin was called up late in 2007. In his 2^nd game he faced all around gentleman Roger Clemens. Maybin took the chode deep on a line drive to center field. Next time up, Clemens beaned Maybin on the first pitch. So, Maybin stole 2^nd base on him. This game will not be anything that I ever “misremember.” Unfortunately, Maybin did not have any more highlights that year. He hit .143 that year which was appropriate because Detroit still had man love for him. That year he struck out as often as you did when you first started playing baseball video games with the “hit stick” instead of the “A” button. 

In one of the most lopsided trades in the history of the barter system, Maybin was traded to the baseball capitol of the world, Miami. Detroit acquired Miguel Cabrera, “megarer jesus,” and Willis in this trade. Maybin was recently sent back down to the minors. I am sure he’ll be fine eventually, and like all Marlins win the world series every 6 years. 

Feel free to share your favorite memories of the third cousin of CFL running back John Avery.

Neat Play, CF #28

Curtis Grandeson records the 2nd out in the 9th inning

Dontrelle Willis returns next week. This saves Jim Leyland from the impending Miner/Robertson decision. A decision so monumentally difficult, that it would be on par with Ray J’s heart wrenching final decision between ho #1 and ho #2 on his hit show on VH1. Willis, who is attempting to come back from an anxiety disorder, hopefully can be somewhat near what Zach Greinke has become. Greinke was on the verge of quitting baseball because of his condition. Now Greinke has an ERA of .40. This .40 ERA is to the surprise of no one who played MVP baseball 2005.

A couple good Greinke quotes:

1. “I cried in bed, moaning ‘why, why did this have to happen?’” — when asked how he reacted to the news of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston breaking up.

 -This reaction seems completely rational. But, I did watch an episode of saved by the bell this afternoon. Jessie Spanno held Slater’s hand causing the studio audience to break out in hysterics.

2. “There definitely will be flying cars, but whether there’ll be flying cars for most people to use, it’ll probably take a long time to straighten everything out, all the rules and hassles. It’ll take a while to figure out how to keep people from crashing into each other.” — when asked if he thought there would be flying cars in the future. 

-Once again, completely rational. There will definitely be a transition period in the era of flying cars. 

3. “Me. I’m a better hitter.” — when Greinke was asked by a National League scout, “Should we draft you or Scott Kazmir?” 

More Greinke quotes here. Some are pretty tremendous. http://www.shan.biz/sports/zack-greinke-the-next-emmitt-smith

While writing this, Starship Troopers has been on mute in the background.  No idea why, but somehow this has to result in good karma. 

TAWG?OGDH? Exclusive Rod Allen Interview

The staff at TAWG?OGDH? had a very special opportunity to interview American hero Rod Allen before tonights game against the California Angels. We were able to speak to him before the game during batting practice.

That's All We Got? One Goddamn Hit?: Thanks for being with us Rod. You enjoying your stay in LA?

Rod Allen: Oh, for sure. I got the acoustic version of the April in the D song on my walkman and took a majestic jog on the beach at sunrise.

TAWG?OGDH?: That's a beautiful image, Rod. Now onto the 2009 Tigers.  After the pitching staff posted a dissapointing 2008 season...Do you think they will rebound in 2009?

RA: We got some guys who can throw some itty bitty ones up there. These are major league players who can throw some major league pitches. Pitching, hitting and coaching will not be a problem for the 2009 Tigers

TAWG?OGDH?: Verlander struggled last year...Any chance he can turn it around?

RA: Oh, for sure. JV has easy gas. He throws it in there consistently at 100, sometimes 105 MPH. When he is on the hitters got none chance, NONE. 

TAWG?OGDH?: Leyland seems to be entering a do or die season in 2009. How do you see him responding?

RA: Leyland? Oh, he's a beauty. He's back to wearing the spikes. Got the high socks going. Pahdnuh, I wouldn't be surprised to see the skipper pinch run in one of these games!

TAWG?OGDH?: Miguel Cabrera looks to be one of best players in all of baseball. Any chance, he can he can win the AL MVP this year?

RA: Miggy? That boy is country strong. He can buggy whip just about any pitch out of the ball park. I'd be surprised if he does not win five or six triple crowns by the time hes done with baseball.

TAWG?OGDH?: That's a gutsy prediction, Rod.

RA: I'm worried about those sitting in the bleachers when Cabby comes to bat!

TAWG?OGDH?: Lay it all on the line, how many wins for the 2009 Tigers?

RA: Oh, 130 easy. This team is dialed in and ready this year. And, SPRING HAS SPRRUUNNG, WINTERS DONNEEEEE.

TAWG?OGDH?: Shut the hell up, Rod.

Oh, and take 300 drinks.

Damn Fine Work

I received an email that the editors of some website reviewed “That’s All We Got? One Goddamn Hit?” and overall they gave it a 6.0 out of 10. Initially I was upset, I really strived to make this place a 6.5 blog. When they asked if I wanted to display a badge proclaiming this place a 6 out 10, I couldn’t update this place quick enough. The mental image I have of people sitting around a table debating the pros and cons of this place is incredible. 

Editor #1: That’s the 15^th Mighty Ducks 2 reference in the last 2 years! Negative points!

Editor #2: His haiku’s are like a serene river flowing straight into my brain! Plus points!

Editor #3: ¿Dónde Está la Biblioteca?

Editor #4: This place emits an aura complacency. If this blog were a dinosaur, it would be a brontosaurus.

Be happy readers, you are reading the Gene Kingsale of Detroit Tiger blogs.

The Fundamentals Of This Baseball Team Are Strong

Wayne State is on break this week, so Spring Break 2009 Detroit is really in full effect right now. I cranked things up this afternoon by watching some Tigers baseball. Tigers eeked one out against the Cardinals, 7-6. This officially makes everything square from 2006. The winning run came when Will Rhymes dropped an ill single scoring the winning run in the bottom of the 9^th. We currently are a mere 5.5 games back for the Grapefruit League crown. I’m pretty sure the winning team splits a gift certificate from Dunhams or something, so let’s get on that.

Unfortunately for the Tigers the rumors of pitching machines replacing pitchers looks to be false. Dontrelle Willis, Zach Miner and Nate Robertson are waging an epic suckfest for the 5^th rotation spot. All tied up, right now. Bonderman has been broken all spring, but looks like he might be ready for the season. Zumaya is hurt again, proving that he might be the most fragile 260# human being of all-time. Rick Porcello and Rick Perry might start with the club with all the sucking going on.

Detroit really can’t brag about the free agents they brought in this off-season. All of the players serve a purpose, but they aren’t flashy. It’s kind of like buying a belt. If you go brag to all your friends about your belt, they’ll think you are a douche, and rightfully so. But, your pants will stay up. This opinion is probably just because I’ve been bathing in the Tigers Kool-Aid all winter, but I feel Adam Everett>Edgar Diarrhea, Gerald Laird>Fudge and Lyon>Jones.

The World Baseball Classic confuses me so much that it almost makes me angry. My jingoistic tendencies make me want to fight a Canadian when I watch Matt Stairs battle with Latroy Hawkins. But, deep down I’d almost rather both Team USA (Granderson) and Team Detroit (Venezuela) take a dive, so we have our full force of players in spring training, learning how to do stuff, and treating Brandon Inge nicely so he is happy. Also, it would be neat if Carlos Guillen could take some fly balls, so he isn’t completely shocked the first time he doesn’t get a ground ball in left field.

Magglio, when he is in right field looks to be about 15% there. My seats are a couple rows up in right field and people are constantly yelling his name. Instead of ignoring them, like every other MLB player, he decides to stare back at them with a blank expression on his face until the situation is just completely awkward and uncomfortable for everyone. It’s bizarre to say the least. Usually you wouldn’t think this mute would be the center of controversy, but he is. Maggio recently said something along the lines of “the best of the Venezuelan Revolution is yet to come” with Hugo Chavez. I’m watching Venezuela play Puerto Rico right now and Magglio is getting booed without mercy the entire game by Venezuelan fans.

21 days until opening day.

The Gutsiest Play In Baseball Movie History

Major League was on HBO this morning. I picked it up near the end, right at the beginning of the Yankees/Indians playoff game. I found the scene on youtube, and luckily it is espanol for your viewing pleasure. Start at 3 minutes in. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zijnRKU5osM

I've always been impressed with Jake Taylor's gutsy/borderline psychotic call at the end of the game. Here's the situation. Willie Mays Hayes on 2nd, with Jake Taylor who looks to be fresh off 37 knee operations at the plate. 2 outs, bottom of 9, tie game.  Taylor signals to Lou Brown that he has a play in mind. Crotchety Spanish-American War vet Lou goes along with the play and signals to the 3rd base coach the play.  If i were Lou, I would have benched him immediately when I saw him go up to the plate with his catching helmet on instead of a batting helmet, but, that's why i'm not an actor. Anyways, I don't know what is more miraculous;A) They have a signal for the outrageousness that is about to take place, or, B) They have practiced such a play before.

The play calls for Jake to call his shot. This is the equivalent of Dane Sardinha calling his shot. Taylor almosts takes a fastball to the dome on the first pitch. The 2nd pitch he once agains calls his shot. This is when my 9 year old brain was offically blown out of my skull. The Yankees skeezy pitcher delivers a strike, and to the surprise of no one, Taylor does not bomb one into the bleachers. Instead, he purposely does a swinging bunt down the 3rd base line. This forces Taylor and his silly puddy knees to beat out a ground ball to the 3rd basemen or the inning is over. The sheer pain in Taylor's face as he runs to the first and the slow melodic music almost caused 9 year old Brady to have a panic attack.

SPOILER ALERT.

Taylor beats the throw! Unfortunately he crumbles over 1st base and this would eventually end up being Jake Taylor's last play in movie baseball history as he would go on to manage in ML2. The play also calls for WMH to try to score from 2nd! Luckily the 1st basemen decides to take his sweet time in throwing it home. The slide might be the most ridiculous thing, ever. He could easily score standing up, instead the slide he does contorts his body in a way that would tear the groins of any mere mortal. This makes the play infinitely closer, but he is safe, and the Indians celebrate their American East title and Jake Taylor makes out with Rene Russo at Milwaukee County Stadium. 

Honorable Mentions for gutsiest movie baseball moment:

1. Angels in the Outfield. In the Angels biggest game, Coach Danny Glover leaves Pitcher Tony Danza on the mound in the 9th. The situation is Angels up by 1, bases loaded, and to this point Danza has already thrown 160+ pitches. Another thing to remember is pitcher Tony Danza will die within 6 months  due to lung cancer after the completion of this game. Coach Glover is able to convince delusional Danza to remain in the game convincing him he has an angel when he really doesn't. Unfortunately for us all, Danza did have an angel; the angel of death. Danza makes a ridiculous diving catch on a screamer off the bat of another skeezer and the Angels win the pennant.

2. Rookie of the Year. Rowengartner remains in the game even though his arm isn't ridiculously broken anymore. The Cub's coach decides to stick with him in the 9th, and he engineers one of the most ridiculous escape jobs in the history of mankind. He strikes the NL's MVP out on 3 underhand lofted pitches.

If you can beat these, post them up.

The Detroit Tigers Bullpen; A Bazardo Situation

Game 4, top of the 8^th inning 2 outs, bases empty, tie game at 3. Enter Jason Grilli, my fellow Royal Oakian. Grilli, AKA Cheese man, throws 12 consecutive balls, loading the bases. My complete lack of faith in the bullpen started precisely at this moment. He was yanked, and we got out of the inning unscathed. But, the damage had already been done to my baby like psyche. Extra credit given to whomever can name the crumb bum who came in and shut the door on the A’s.

Since then our bullpen has been a rag tag group of pranksters that would seem unrealistic even in a Disney movie. Todd Jones could be charged with attempted murder for the amount of times he’s raised my blood pressure to an almost lethal measure. This year he’s gone, and the closer spot is for grabs. 

The “big” move so far has been the signing of Brandon Lyons. I’d be lyon if I thought he was the long-term answer, but this former Dback wants the opportunity to put his brand-on the Tigers closer position. Yep, I felt good about that sentence.  Lyon signed for 4.25 million, or 17 million quarters. Another signee is Juan Rincon. He’s fresh off a steroid suspension, so, that’s promising, because players usually excel after this sort of thing. Hopefully Zumaya has already mastered expert mode on Guitar Hero so we don’t have a freak accident where he snaps his wrist in half on a plastic guitar during a “Cherry Pie” solo.

In other news, Brandon Inge is happy back at 3^rd. I mean, he’s earned it. Hitting .205 last year while complaining the entire time. He’s the feel good story of the team so far.

Pitchers and catchers report in 2 and a half weeks. Since the Pistons have decided to pout, and the Lions played catcher all sunday this year, it couldn’t come soon enough.